Saturday, January 26th, 2013

my_lost_mind: (weird)
When I think of him now, I think of him as an itchy sweater, or a boa constrictor, or sitting in a car with no air conditioning,  in heavy traffic, on a hot summer day.

Thinking of him now makes me feel uncomfortable.

I always felt uncomfortable each time he left, like each hour was borrowed time.

Never again will I give so much of myself to someone who is not deserving.

There's a big difference between leaving your heart open, and setting your heart out like a doormat for a man to wipe his boots on.

I will keep my heart open, but I will not let anyone, any man take so much without giving anything in return.

I deserve better than that.

Instead of turning over rocks and looking in muddy river beds for wanna be "princes" hiding out in frog suits (or worse), I'll sit by the river bed and just enjoy the view.

Just because I'm over 40 and have lost my twee girl mojo does not mean I have to settle for the first single guy who comes along who
happens to share the same interests.

If he's broken, or still fucked up over some ex wife or ex girlfriend, he's just not worth the pain.

No more stem-winding time wasters.

No more settling for crumbs, or diving in the dating dumpster for a casual encounter.

It's just not fucking worth it.

If it means being single, so be it.

I'd rather be single than dating someone who makes me crazy, anxious, or makes me feel lonely when I'm sitting next to them.

It's just not fucking worth it.

No more booty calls, "friends with benefits" or any other bullshit arrangement that all means the same thing - the guy wants sex without having to put in any emotional effort.

No thanks.  I'm done with all that shit.  

I would rather be single, or have a lovely collection of platonic friends  than go through any of this ever again.

March 2013

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